Last night I went to the old operating theatre to see Valentina and Lana Citron’s work between the old forceps herbs and spices. I love this place in St Thomas’ and urge everyone to climb the ricketty and staircase to count the saw marks on the operating table, sadly they have bleached the blood out of the racks but there are still the knives in evidence and a lot of kisses in empty jam jars.I liked the Joycean one, wet and cunty!
Lana did a reading on tuesday from her Kiss Hoarder book along with Joseph Ridgewell, funny will ashon, professional mark waldron and pinkly glittery andrew logan. It was quite shambolic, I mean I was quite shambolic, rushing in nails still unpainted to do interview with Andrew L’s camera crew before interviewig him, with no book in view. You can’t have everything. Joseph got beautifully drunk and abused the audience, encouraging Lizziness to also get drunk and have to start her song again though only half way through it. Must try to be a little more clear cut next time but considering those selfish Americans had decided to have their election on the same day(I blame sarah palin, can’t believe she spent $100,000 on her election clothes they look so much like George at Asda)it was a roaring success, and Marie Murphy bought a beautiful voice and calm to the proceedings. I am so having her singing at my wedding. Anna our ed from Penpusher was a delight as ever but where and when is that ed Gallix from Gay Paris ever going to appear, is he waiting for an invite???
(We love you really Andrew).
Is it true Madame Arcarti loves Penpusher magazine sooo much she’s sponsoring the next mag?

Were just three of the people on the next table to us at The Wolsey and very charming they were too. I came over all slug like, deferential and ingratiating to Sir H, couldn’t help myself he reminded me of the John Betjeman poem - Ode to an old man, I intend to be just like that myself in years to come living on a diet of Oysters a good Muscadet and a soft souffle. But as if that wasn’t enough Lucian Freud had the audacity to appear! I mean I ask you and it a Sunday night. Sunday nights used to be about staying home watching the Onedin Line or Bouquet of Barbed Wire, but now there’s not even anything as good as that on the telly, so we’re forced to go swanking down the ‘Dilly.
All of the above NAMES are about the same age, my mother too, but I noted with interest the various stages of ageing. Edna O’ had such a smooth taught face, I feared for the stretch factor, less so Lady A, and even more ironing binlike was Mr Lucien, quite unlike Sir H, who’s features have relaxed to a beatific state - I wonder what is the secret, can it be bottled and sold off to huge financial gain? Perhaps its what happens when you win the Nobel Prize and you can be so pleased with yourself the lines dissappear in a trice?
Mind it didn’t help Carson McCullers ageing process. It should be the endless meals at the Wolsey where the food is so good, so good I said it twice, but they were all eating there. It can only be unrelenting joy from his play No Man’s Land in The West End produced by Sonia Friedman… what more could it be?

Wilma Johnson is not only a fantastic painter (see www.wilma.com) but also has an amazing family. It is the sort of family you don’t necessarily want to be born into but you’d wish to marry into - Its very similar to the family in You Can’t take It with You (dir Frank Capra but you knew that). It is a home full of things and bits, paintings and art, boxes and stuff with always Anne the mother buzzing around, and christopher her dad hovering. Anne is very good at singing and Christopher is very good at economics, So I asked Christopher how long the ruination of the nation was going on for and how much longer we would have to keep hearing about ‘down turned footsies in the market’ and he said , it would all end in the first half of the next year because we were all going very keysian and spending everything because we were in a recession and thats how you dig your way out. Now I shall quote mr Johnson to my bank if they start to fuss and say, Mr Keynes, Mr Brown and Mr Johnson say that the only way to dig ourselves out of a recession is to spend, spend spend Viv Nichols style - so talk to them about it cos I’m too busy spending. Luckily my fiancee understands economics too, so I don’t have to explain nothing to him!

The great voice has croaked his last I am sad to report. I would have reported this on Saturday but internets been down and out in London (and paris). I even tried to go and get on line in a starbucks in vauxhall enough to say it didn’t work and I had to drink a cup of their coffee ! Anyway they did play a four tops song, which reminded me of the time my mum took me to see them at The Albert Hall in 1965. It wasn’t my first live gig earlier in the year I’d seen Hendrix, and later on I went to the premiere of the first nude musical Hair, but it remains in my memory as the best most thrilling thing I had seen, and I didn’t fall asleep, something I did so often I had the nickname doormouse. Instead at the end of the concert, we were led down a series of corridors into the depths of the backstage dressing rooms and there I was lifted and hugged and kissed by each of The Four Tops in turn. I was in love, I was in heaven as they fussed and petted me. I still am, every time I hear ‘I can’t help myself’ more commonly known as sugarpie honeypie. Thank you Levi for helping to make some outstanding music.

Nicholas Blincoe, you know that really excellent novelist(White Mice, Manchester Slingback, acid casuals), raconteur and designer clad man about town, both here and Bethlehem… Said to me last night that I had to mention him in my blog, in fact he positively begged and wept on designer jeaned knees,’Honestly Sophie, I wish I had warned you about…’ he said, but I was rather too fascinated with earwigging Artist Martin Richman, trying to work out whether Comedian Hattie Hayridge was the woman he’d slept with 15years previously, he stumbled around cross examining the poor girl in a rather elephant manner, until he remembered that the girl in question was not called Hattie but Hettie. I once knew a girl called Hettie who was an actress surely she didn’t with martin? but then she was married to ken Russell so one never knows. All answers gratefully recieved…did she or didn’t she? Meanwhile madame Arcarti was dressed in velvet and very beautifully it became her/it. Sam shepherd was sadly not present, but Salena Godden was. I don’t think Nicholas minded my inattention, not once I saw him dancing with novelist Lana Citron to Do you love me now that I can Dance, most worries seem to disappear in the Twist. Another night of strange dancing at The Parkin Lot, another morning waking with sore feet and then my computer died, it just needed a nice cup of tea and an early night, all better now…. There you go Nicholas, is that what you wanted?

Clara meadmow at 105 said sexual absitnence was the key to a long life. So do a lot of nuns! Some say its exercise, a good gallop round a meadow never did anyone any harm, but does one outweigh the other? Will Jordan die early of multiple sex, or live a long and fruitful cosmetic exsitence, (though sadly devoid of Cartier Polo, she’s not their type dontcha know!) through all that cantering- only time will tell. Maybe you can judge, she’s straddling a tamed beast on Horse of The Year Show on Friday!
Meanwhile I would bet that romance does more for the soul to keep alive, simple acts of love and generosity make anyone glad to be alive. AS do the archive of Soultrain on You Tube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJx3cGc219o&feature=related - Al green L-o-v-e, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q7rkhDtbKE&feature=related - Johnny Bristol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ur4DmmvNh8 - Jeff Perry, love don’t come no stronger.
SoulTrain is the only place to get your latest dance moves and fashion tips ladies and gentlemen! You just know it makes sense, Katie and Andre, I suggest you pay attention.

It’s hard to think about Paddington as 50 or any age. Though he always seemed older than me (I think he has a very old soul),if not always wiser when engaged in magical tricks with Mr Brown’s watch handkerchief and hammer . I was naturally drawn by his sartorial elegance of wearing a duffle coat and a sou’wester hat simultaneously with wellington boots, and I would defintely sight him as a style icon. His choice of marmalade sandwiches, is the icing on the cake, though I would always add bacon inside them too.
How time flies when you are having fun? 50 imagine that? Now you can write a letter to yourself at 50, or any age and have it sent to you as an email at some unspecified time in the future, reminding yourself of what you want, wanted to be , or do, or see, it makes me think that life just happens and we don’t plan, enough we’re always looking back and never forward, but maybe not thinking about the future is good, making us concentrate more on the present. The present is just that, a present, and maybe that is all we can be certain that we have, when the past has already gone and the future has yet to arrive, however much sci-fi you watch. The question, who am i? is only relevent t o the present moment after all you might become someone else when you’re busy not looking. I wonder if Paddington ever thought about being 50? How long do Peruvian Bears live anyway? www.futureme.org

Oh its that Turner time of the year, so niece Grace and I trotted in the boiling heat down to the Tate. First we were a little hungry so we went for the Bacon, and filled up until our bellies were bloated. Curious how the really sad room in memory of his poor dead lover George, who commited suicide on the eve of his big retrospective at The Grand Palais, Paris in ‘71 were the lightest and most appealing of the paintings. We were so full we could only fit in a mere trifle, and thats exactly what the Turner was. Each year I go hoping to find just one thing, but this year it was impossible and very irritating, still Grace and I had lots of fun writing jokes and putting them on the suggestion wall afterwards. Save your money just go read the notice board. Sadly I had spent my money, so we went into the garden and ate the beatroot leaves, feathery fennel and plenty of peppery flowers, until we got our ticket price refunded to our mouths. So next time you’re in need of a little light salad may I recommend Tate Britains gardens for a fine dining experience.

I know everyone is dying to look like sarah palin, in and out side of Nebraska and Cornwall, even Paris Hilton has been using the same lipgloss I see. It’s not just about the right Pant Suit(what a disgusting phrase, excuse me whilst I turn into Sharon Tate in Revulsion) it makes me think of Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. But, its also about getting the face right and half of that is the glasses… Now imagine my surprise when busy dj-ing the other tuesday at The Parkin Lot @ Green Carnation - Greek st Soho, when a host of boys came fawning over me,’can we take your picture missy’ they shreik hysterically. ‘Keep your glasses on, they make you look just like Sarah Palin.’ they squealed like stuck piglets.’It’s the funniest thing ever. Sarah Palin Djing at The Green Carnation with flowers in her hair.’ Shuttup ya Pinkie and Perky!
The glasses can be bought for the reasonable credit crunch sum of £2.50(8euro or $1) at any good Primark Store, I always keep 2 pairs on me- just incase of press conferences and photo ops.

So God has rewarded me for not being a banker and has given me a Dutchman, which is very nice. For those of you who have yet to go Dutch, and I don’t mean over dinner splitting the bill, I can heartily recommend the generosity of spirit, the charm and good manners of this delightful European race, it makes these English men look downright rude in comparison, and extremely ungallant, oh, what do you say,they are anyway, I expect you’re right. Wendy says, Englishmen have lost any idea of etiquette because they think it makes them look sissy. The Dutchman says the only gay men in Holland are Englishmen. Can he possibly be right?